My friend, Rebekah, likes to post songs for each day on her blog, so I'll start with the song I'm playing on my music player right at this moment: "Birthday" by The Cruxshadows. In fact... while I'm at it, I might as well embed my favorite Vampire Freaks music player here to give you a taste of how "life in my world" sounds! Skip ahead to song #3 (that's the one I'm listening to right now) and I apologize ahead of time because the first song has lots of naughty "f" word language. If you like this music player but you want to pick your own playlist, the folks at Vampire Freaks let you do just that. If you love gothic and industrial music, Go check it out!
What I've been drawing
Godwin and Findlay are timetraveler fops, or gentleman time floppers, or maybe they're just my fantasy boyfriends. Whatever the case, I've been dreaming them up for some time now and I'm still not quite sure how the story will be told. I want to draw them true to their time period, just like old fashioned 18th century cartoons, but set them here in our time and interact with people -- I imagine them teaching "us children" how to dance, love, make merry, and embellish ourselves with beauty... properly.
I love old photographs. When I look into those faces from a previous century I'm compelled to imagine what their lives must've been like. Then I want to draw them, to really touch who these people were and bring them back to life by drawing them into our age... While drawing them I re-interpret them. They become new characters. They spin stories in my mind. We have a sort of conversation between us. Unheard. It's wonderful.
What I did today
Doctor visits. Running in the rain with a garbage bag on my head. Daydreaming. Waiting. Being surrounded by students. The dark comes too soon, but I love it. People watching. Catching people with my camera lens...
I didn't bloody well care what people thought of me this morning wearing this garbage bag for cover. I forgot my umbrella and someone was kind enough to let me grab a bag to keep myself and the equipment in my bag from getting wet.
The rain came down cold, hard, heavy. I am happy I didn't get soaked!
I didn't get a chance to talk to the girl waiting beside me. She seemed both tired and sad and very busy texting. She was interesting. So were the other people around me...
I'm always hyper-aware of the people around me, keeps me on edge all the time, and photographing my surroundings and the people in them has given me a sense of control over my environment. I am dealing with agoraphobic tendencies lately and this self-given photographic assignment has helped me get out the door and saved me from constantly re-scheduling appointments I need to keep to keep track of my health.
I've taken to photographing my feet -- a sort of therapy where I place myself in the moment and kept my anxiety at bay. My life seems to be all about being too sensitive -- emotionally, psychically -- and my duty to myself to constantly balance, practice peace, and meditate, be in the moment, strive to calm.
I love taking walks in the rain-soaked air and delighting at the sound my shoes make on the wet pavement, how my soles sink in the muddy grass, looking up at the sky and wondering when we are going to get a blanket of snow.
Time spent in the doctor's office is not my cup of tea...
BUT I found out today that my a1c levels have dropped by one. I am crawling closer to my goal. My blood sugar has become lower, too. And (bonus!) I don't (yet) have to take a fast-acting insulin -- that means less injections. Yay! I'm getting healthier. Now... if only I could have a smaller belly and less double chin. I don't mind being fat but I do want to have more room to move myself around in, if you know what I mean.
How I Woke Up Today
Early mornings annoy me. I'm a night owl. But there are times when I really have no choice but to get up in the wee hours, especially on those days when I have to fast 10 hours and run to do some blood work at the hospital lab so I can check on my progress. I'm doing battle with diabetes. I am determined to overcome. Even though my body was aching and hungry, I rose up like the undead...
What's New in my Apartment
A lovely red, black, and gold mask. Over the full moon I'm going to give it a name. He perfectly matches the color scheme I have set in my livingroom. And speaking of my home, I'm doing a little re-arranging and re-imagining of my space. My Uncle Doug is giving me a computer at month's end and I haven't yet decided where we will put it. I think it will go up in the loft... but then I pussy-foot around about it. I won't know how things will all fit in my space until we get them all together in one place.
I don't usually decorate for the holiday season, but I am thinking about buying some white string lights to brighten up my livingroom and want to get a daylight lamp for the spider plant I now have growing in my home. The plant once grew in my mother's nursing home room. I feel most obligated to keep it healthy, however, I'm a dunce when it comes to taking care of plants. So far the plant seems to not mind the low light and the blossoms that sprouted while it was at my friend Dala's store are still there, and thriving.
What I'll be doing Next
Painting watercolor portraits of Chix and Sundance, my cousin Terry's lovely horses. Gotta go grocery shopping for a small Thanksgiving dinner I'll eat with my brother on The Turkey Day (it's not exactly an American Indian holiday but we do celebrate the harvest). I also plan on starting a "secret lost diary" of my own creation on Tumblr, but then again... I keep changing my mind. I also want to start a blog focusing on the teachings of Witchcraft ONLY -- a sort of witch's journal. I don't know! but you know what's most important at this very moment? I have to go home and get some supper and CLEAN MY KITCHEN because my recycling garbage has reached epic porportions again. Plus I am going to take up bellydancing again!
Love you and thanks for reading about what's in the moment right now in my world.
